The Impostor

I sat beside her bed 
Silent ringing stinging my ears 
Her bed reeked of illness & pain 
an aroma that, for some reason, 
was comforting 
She stole my focus 
and held my hand with her soft, plump fingers 
I sat waiting for time 
never had I realized what a cruel joke 
counter clockwise truly is 
The fingers that held my hand now felt like five icicles 
so my grip grew tighter... 
"She is so cold! warm her up!" 
But I knew that no amount of heat 
could change what I couldn't accept 
I turned to look at the girl and realized 
that the girl who now lay before me wasn't my sister 
This girl was lifeless, pale and her silence was deafening 
My sister was a contradiction to all these things 
I took another look at the impostor 
and knew that 
No, it wasn't my sister 
for my sister was gone 
and all I could feel was relief 
Relieved in knowing that even though 
my suffering had just begun 
hers had finally ended 
*Avery Wray Hageman 
for her sister on 12-22-2004 
Brittany, You have not been forgotten and never will be. Life is hard without you to
protect me and keep me safe but I'm living off your strength. I know you're the most
beautiful angel and someday, I know, I'll see you in heaven.

I love you forever and always - ave